A Very Hard Post

Sarah asked me to write this post because she still is unable to talk, write, or think about it without crying. December 22 was a very hard day for our family and the pain has lessened only slightly. We lost William's little Asthma Annie that day and it was a hard providence. We let her out briefly and within minutes she was in the road and run over. We took her to the vet, but I knew that she was dead as soon as I saw her.
We buried her and Michael gave a beautiful speech about how much she meant to our family and what her purpose was. The children and I made a memorial stone for her grave.

William is so visual and he had such a hard time understanding that Annie was not coming back. We let him touch her body after we put her in the ground and explained to him what was happening. This seemed to help him understand a little better.

The nights were difficult for awhile. William was used to sleeping with Annie and he would cry for her. Eventually that gave way to just asking about her. Finally, his questions became more like open-ended statements:

"Annie can't sleep with me because she died?"

"Annie's not coming back?"

I posted more about William on his blog: http://causeme2hear.blogspot.com/2011/12/asthma-annie.html

As much as we all miss Annie, I think the hardest part for all of us has been watching William miss his little friend. Remembering good times with her is both bitter and sweet. The children are still grieving. Some grieve openly, while others refuse to discuss her with anyone but the little children who ask about her. As their mother, it has been especially touching to see how the older girls will put their own grief aside to help the younger children grieve in their way. And, odd as it may seem, through Annie's death, I have a new appreciation for the love my children have for one another and it makes me eternally grateful.

In preparation for this post, we've been looking through old pictures of Annie. Here are some of our favorites, in loving memory of

Asthma Annie 11/14/2010 - 12/22/2011

Annie was just a month younger than our Pyrenees-Anatolian mix, Ida. They loved to romp and wrestle and were the best of dog friends. She even liked to cuddle up with our Pomeranian, Vixey.

Everybody loved Annie! She was rarely alone, but was often cuddled up on someone and was so gentle and tolerant of being handled!

We miss her greatly! Thank you, Lord, for making her part of our lives for this time we were able to have her and for giving us such fond memories of her!

Posted by...the mother of all these wonderful children!